My baby boy is 9 

I’m still trying to comprehend exactly how this happened. Because I swear to Christ yesterday he was a baby. a huge handful of an adventurous, non-stop, terrorizing, I can’t keep up, colic spewing, escape artist, cat food eating, house destroying, mister I can scale the bars of the crib and by-pass the baby gates and every baby-proofing mechanism invented, little bundle of oh no,no, I don’t want to snuggle, I’ve got shit to do and books to shred and decorations to destroy, all boy, holy crap what have I gotten myself into, I’m exhausted and It will never end, yep off to the ER we go because spider baby knows how to pull out drawers, climb onto the dresser and jump expecting webbing to come out of his hands so he can swing around the house, worm digging, bug and frog obsessed, biggest mess I’ve ever seen in my life, mommy’s OCD is in full swing, I need medication, perfect little beautiful boy- who has taught me that dirt under the fingernails and playing in the mud is good for the soul. Little mister is 9 today. His heart is pure and untouched to this day by our negative society and without a doubt he was lent to me by God himself from his own fleet of angels to remind me that every now and then it’s ok to leave the house a mess, take a deep breath and just join in the fun of being a kid. I don’t have any brothers. But I do have a boy who is the love of my life. who fills my heart and soul. who says “i love you mommy” at least 20 times a day. who tears up if he sees me crying simply because he hates to see mommy cry and who has my heart wrapped around his very busy little fingers. Happy birthday to my little man. My gift from God. The love and joy of my heart and soul. My little Tre. love!!



none at all

none at all


well hi there, charlie

well hi there, charlie



Do any of these go well with vodka?

Do any of these go well with vodka?



why??

why??


BOOM!!


Little FYI to the community. Apparently you can’t substitute corn syrup for vegetable oil when baking a box of brownies. In the event that you find there is no vegetable oil in the house, go ahead a make a trek out to the store, or ditch the baking extravaganza, ok. Trust me, kids. I’m not sure wtf we created, here. I know it’s a spongy, sludge-like substance that is impossible to “slice” because the knife was eaten like I stuck it in river mud. you know. like when you run the warrior dash or tough mudder and you are waist deep and wading through God knows what and one leg sinks through the goo on the bottom and it’s eating your leg below the knee and you start to panic as you are certain it’s quick sand and you look around and notice at least 15 people being thrown tree vines and being hauled out sans their shoes. Yep. It’s exactly like that. So the knife is gone and when I went to retrieve it, I realized this is some sort of experiment in what not to do and it took me 5 minutes and a scrub brush to get that sludge off of my fingers. oh. and yes. I said a box. a box of brownie mix. as in betty crocker did all the f’n work and all we needed was water, a couple of eggs and some oil and poof. instant yumminess. I mean this didn’t exactly entail taking a bunch of powdery substances and bottles and the baking aisle at the store and expensive mixing machines and whipping up a damned magic spell and bippity boppity boo, ok. This is box o brownies in 20 minutes. but noooo. right now I have an 8x8 glass baking dish that contains a knife and a man-eating substance that needs to be placed in a hazard material container and disposed of by licensed personnel. So here’s the lesson. Just because it resembles oil and the bottle kind of maybe a little might look like the oil bottle, it does not mean hey let’s just use this. feel free to chime in, here. carrie is an asshole. and this, kids. is why I don’t bake.



teenshealthandfitness:

Drink more tea! It’s so good for you!

(via yoga-is-the-new-sexy)